Out of the Valley and Back on Top

Kaidyn is doing great! I guess she was telling us she needed steroids. We heard today that her PDA is officially closed! She has started receiving feeds again, and so far she has been digesting the milk well. She is requiring less oxygen and they have been able to decrease the settings of her ventilator. They are hoping that by tomorrow she can be put back on the conventional ventilator. I am just so proud of her! She is handling her hands on time much better. She still doesn't particularly like it, but she tolerates it and recovers faster than before.

Today I was reading a book I received from a mom who has been through the NICU roller coaster. This book, "The Work of Your Hand" was written by a christian NICU nurse. As I read a few chapters and the bible verses the book offers, I realized all the emotions I am feeling are common. This book speaks about being scared, the questions to God that run through your mind, the unfamiliar noises your hear that first day in the NICU. What stands out to me is the first chapter of the book, My child, the work of God's Hand. This chapter speaks about the initial thoughts and emotions you experience, one in particular, that of perfection. I had wondered why I didn't get the perfection every parent strives for when they find out they are pregnant. But this book made me realize that even though the method of Kaidyn's delivery wasn't "perfect" in the eyes of man, God doesn't ask for perfection. All God requires from me as a parent is to love my child; my child who is wonderfully made by God. Psalm 139: 13-14 says "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Even though Kaidyn is sick and has a journey ahead of her, I know that she is a blessing that is fearfully and wonderfully made by God.